Showcasing Childfree Authors

I Don't Hate Your Kids, I Hate YOU! (E)


From Chapter One, In Line Behind a WIC-Welfare Whore at Kroger

...they can get a pound of free cheese, but it can't be pre-sliced and individually wrapped or some exotic flavor imported from Switzerland.... Then there's the “rule” about their free vegetable and fruit selections that always seems to be a stumper for the WIC-Welfare Whores too,...while they waste additional time arguing with the cashier as to WHY they can't get a Rack of Lamb,...Chili Pepper Red Wine Cheese Sauce Dip, or a bottle of Chianti with their WIC-Welfare cards. After they pass through the stages of grief about their WIC purchases, which run the gamut of denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance, we move on to the SNAP(food stamp) card purchase denials. But, “...these candy bars have MILK in them or they wouldn't call them Milky Ways!...”

From Chapter Two, The Most Important Job in the World!(a moment of debate)

...I happen to think a garbage collector’s job is of the utmost importance because he carries waste away from my home each week, but what do I know? I hate to break it to many of these women, but their “most important” job title of “Mom” would be meaningless to most anyone during a life and death situation. Would you call 9-11 if your spouse was having a heart attack or the “Stay at Home Mom” next door?...Yet they do say it all of the time and many people find it highly offensive. It’s basically one of the many titles unemployed mothers use to make themselves feel more important...”

From Chapter Four, Forty is Too Old to be Having Babies(IVF should be illegal)

As for the IVFers...If this was truly all about the children and wanting a “family of their own”....then why not just implant ANY zygote? Why not a mixed race baby...?If random zygotes were implanted instead of one biologically similar to them, it would make the fertility clinic look like the customer exchange counter at Macy’s on the day after Christmas..........They want a healthy self replicant or a reasonable facsimile thereof ...people who use IVF and claim it’s because they want, “one of their own”, rarely even get a biological self replicant due to their biological eggs and sperm screaming out, “We are done and you are too old!”...they are no more biologically related to that child than if they had adopted him, so why all of the hoopla?... 

From Chapter Six, Welfare Whores and Baby Daddys

“...ALL CASH SENT TO WELFARE QUEENS NEEDS TO CEASE IMMEDIATELY! ...I have often wondered whose bright idea it was to send cash in the mail to someone to manage, for a child’s welfare no less...and place the sole responsibility in their hands to manage it for their children...when they don’t even exercise enough basic common sense to put 50 cents in a condom dispenser or the decency to keep their legs closed once in a while, WHY do we continue to finance their lifestyles ???? ...”

“... They are careful to never say the “real name” of the various fathers of their children and when they do call him by an actual name, it’s“Big D” , MickyZ”, “Rolo”, “Pudgy”,“Cheeseburger”, ”Doo Doo Head”, ‘Wolf”, “Fatback”, or just“Dog”. … So, in just three short decades the “Baby Daddys” have come to fulfill their given roles and destiny and they do everything possible to honor their given name... although they share some similar characteristics which distinguish them from regular fathers...They are rarely referred to as an “ex” anything because...he has earned a lifetime pass for booty calls from any one of his baby mamas, providing he keeps paying up, or “under” the table. That, and “EX one night stand” doesn’t really make much sense....”

From Chapter Seven, The Attachment Parenting Cult(Where Everything is "Child Led" and "Natural")


“...Diaperless Potty Training” and “EC”-Elimination Communication-(Kids peeing on trees and whatnot)... Some of them don’t even use diapers at all, but rather they rely on non verbal “cues” or “signals”, from children as young as infants, to know when the child needs to eliminate bodily waste....They claim that the baby will squeeze their hand a certain way, make a particular grunting sound or other noise,... etc….when he has to “eliminate”. Then what, one might wonder? ... They will quite literally hang the child’s backside over whatever is handy or available such as out a car window at a parking deck, over a hand sink in a restaurant or other public place,... on the sand at the beach, just wherever I suppose.......they don't see anything wrong with letting them pee on trees in the park, on lawns, or on parked car tires in parking lots either, like stray dogs... even cats and dogs don’t “eliminate” where they are likely to step in it and... Neanderthals didn't shit their own caves either...”


From Chapter Nine,The Tit Nazis: “Breast is Best” Brigade

...”It’s not just the nourishment that’s important, but the bonding with my baby as well that would suffer if I pumped it into a bottle” So, you are saying if you miss one chance to “bond” during the day when he feeds 8 or 10 other times, then your child will suffer?... If you DO believe that one missed “bonding” experience will cause irreparable harm to your baby, then you need to get a grip with reality ... there will come a time when someone else will be giving your child a bottle. Do us all a favor and let that day be today, please...., just COVER UP YOUR TITS, because no one else wants to see them....I don't and a baby being in the vicinity doesn't change the fact you are exposing yourself and NO ONE wants to see it, trust me....”

From Chapter Ten, Mommy Wars-The Hierarchy of Everything

“...Then they always mention which child “belongs” to which spouse, and without fail they absolutely beam from ear to ear when mentioning the “one of their own”.. ...The same type thing is done with smaller families as well in that they skim over the steps, halves, adopted and fosters, and focus primarily and obviously on the child who is “one of their own”. Sometimes, they save the “best for last” when speaking of their children and it’s at least as obvious when they do that as to which child fits where on the hierarchy scale. I can almost hear the proverbial drum roll after they have finished the brief and obligatory mention of the less important kids and say………..”and THIS is our little Mattie!”...

From Chapter Eleven, Locked in Hot Car Syndrome and Other “Accidents”

“...WHERE are their parents when their children are swinging from their bunk beds by their necks,choking to death on batteries, slipping into alligator enclosures at the zoo, drowning in the bath tub,falling onto moving stairs or into elevator shafts, tumbling out upper story windows, suffocating in locked hot cars, getting their body parts eaten by family pets, and chopped to bits by dangerous equipment they have NO BUSINESS even being in the vicinity of at their young ages? These careless people need to face prosecution, at the very least, for child neglect and/or endangerment. No, they have NOT “suffered enough”!... Certainly plenty of NON parents responsible for child deaths go to jail, so why should parents get a free pass?...”


From Chapter Fourteen, Popular Childless by Choice Cliches Dissected(Bingo)

....The Bible says to, “Go forth and multiply!”... Like so many other things found in The Bible, they are cherry picking what suits their particular needs and wants... Jesus is perhaps the most famous of childless by choice people to have ever lived, although those spouting off biblical scripture generally tend to ignore that! Perhaps too, God didn't get a chance to finish that sentence or if he did, it didn't get published! PERHAPS, what the rest of that sentence said was, “….but once the Earth is bursting at the seams with people and children are starving and dying painful deaths on a daily basis due to overpopulation, it's “okay” to CEASE with the “multiplying” part already!...”

...You will NEVER know “real love” or unconditional love until you have a baby!... this one just royally pisses me off! ... perhaps too they don't possess the capacity to love another human being unless they believe it's a part of their own bodies and thereby they are only “truly loving” themselves...I find this Bingo extremely personally offensive because it demeans the deep love I feel for so many people...Maybe a good counter Bingo to that might be, “Oh, then YOU have never known “true” hatred and disgust for another human being until you've had a woman who's given birth attempt to invalidate your feelings of love for the people you care about by spouting any such nonsensical chewed cud such as you have just spewed forth from your piehole, you STUPID cow”...”


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  • Written by: Kidlesskim
  • Pages: 135

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